Thursday, April 16, 2009

Dear Real Estate Agents:

She did warn me: "I SAID NO PICTURES, MOM!!!"

Before I get into our subject du jour, I must exclaim to the world two glorious facts :

My baby girl is one year old as of April 14th, 2009! And...

Her blood lead levels came back as low as the test can read! Constant mopping and cleaning and nail-biting paid off, I guess! You can read more about that debacle at Dave's awesome blog, which is extra awesome because he's got some pretty darn sweet things to say about yours truly. He's a keeper.

I'd meant to post a photo essay of our day together, Stella and I, but she's in a NO PAPARAZZI period right now, meaning whenever I get the camera out, she starts to attack it, leading to pictures such as those at the top of the page. (In case you can't read it, her shirt says "Made in California, but I'm a Brooklyn girl." My awesome friend Lisa Hamre had it made up after we went to her California wedding exactly one year and nine months ago...) Suffice it to say, we had a wonderful day together.

OK. Now onto other, less Stella-centric items. The Brooklyn Family is looking to move...again. This apartment, albeit HUGE, comes with way too much drama: a building manager who uses obscenities when we dare ask him to follow the law, lead-based paint that chips constantly and must be mopped obsessively, and an upstairs neighbor who might just be building a bomb (at the very least, he wears anvils for shoes and vacuums at 3am).

What with the stock market tanking and the NYC real estate bubble finally popping (YIPPEE!!!), we have decided it's time to at least consider buying.

Now, one would think that real estate agents everywhere, including NYC, would have to really be busting butt trying to make money right about now. Houses and apartments are no longer selling/renting themselves, so that means it's time to bust out the charm if you're an agent. Otherwise, however will your bread get buttered?

Before I go any further, I must give a shout-out to two real estate agents I know well who exemplify the type of professional nature and enthusiasm that I think it'll take to succeed in the current market. Jasmina Nikolov, a fellow mommy in my Kensington mommies group, has lovely apartments to rent and buy, and she's also quite knowledgeable, personable, and extremely professional. She even brings cookies and lemonade to open houses! Additionally, my sister-in-law, Sharon Rosano, sells gorgeous homes built by her husband in New Canaan, Connecticut. Again, she's professional and smart, as well as personable and charming (and generous with the hand-me-downs from our nieces).

But where those ladies succeed, countless others, in New York City, at least, fail. Where Jasmina dresses professionally and greets her open housers with a smile, other agents are late for their own open houses and show up in dirty jeans and t-shirts. Where Sharon returns phone calls promptly and answers questions honestly, other agents list properties on 65th Street in Brooklyn as "South Park Slope" and don't ever return phone calls.

For those who've followed the Brooklyn Family blogs for a while now, you'll recall Dave detailing our prior disappointment with real estate agents. But that was over a year ago, when NYC was still in a bubble and people literally brought cash deposits with them to open houses, just in case they liked what they saw and didn't want to lose the place. I really would have thought that now, with places sitting on the market for months and routinely coming down in price by $50K here and another $50K there that agents would have gotten the point: you have to work for your money now, buddy.

After going to an open house last weekend, though, I know that's not true. Dave, Stella and I trudged out into the pouring rain to see a reasonably priced three bedroom apartment up the street. We arrived, wet and cranky, but hopeful that this would be the place. The building seemed nice and we already like the area, so it had a lot going for us.

Although we were right in the middle of the 1-3pm open house window, nobody was there. Dave called the office's number, and they told us to try the buzzer again. Nada. We called again and asked for his number. They said they spoke to him and he stepped out, but would be there soon.

Someone let us in and we went to the second floor, where our possible future home was situated. We waited and waited, and 10 minutes later, Dave called again. As he was dialing, I heard a voice say, "I'm coming!"

Up waltzed a guy who looked like he just woke up. He was disheveled and wet, his hair untidy and his eyes droopy. He told us he had to go get some water, because he didn't trust the tap water in this apartment. Wow. Thanks, buddy! We're sold!

He let us in and the place was...OK. I mean, size-wize, it was great -- a real three bedroom! But it was dusty and dirty. The agent's pack of cigarettes was out on the kitchen counter, along with previous water bottles he'd run out during open houses to purchase.

Not only was there dirt from the agent's time there, but apparently the previous owners left in a HURRY. There were dishes still in the dishwasher, a magnet from an ancient trip to Florida on the refrigerator, and moldy trash in the trash can. Were they on the run from the law? Was the mafia out to get them? It was intriguing, but also gross.

However, Dave and I were still in because, as nasty as this was, it was big and well-priced! I know I can clean (I mean I kept lead out of my daughter's blood despite paint chipping around us like snowflakes).

But then we came to the second bedroom -- the one that would most likely be Stella's room. And guess what happened? The upstairs neighbor began blasting techno music at the highest possible volume.

It was a sign from above. That is not the place for us. Or anyone, really, who doesn't feel like having a fight with a fellow owner over proper stereo volume.

I'm not surprised that we didn't find an apartment at one of our first open houses of this round of the real estate cha-cha. But I am floored by the agent's behavior. If you are a real estate agent in NYC, please read and consider the following:

The market has changed. You can no longer forget to return phone calls, show up late, step out of your own open house for some water, neglect to clean an apartment before a showing, wear dirty clothes, speak unintelligibly on the phone, or be a rude a-hole to possible buyers/renters. You have to actually earn your money like the rest of us now. It's not fun, I know, but you can do it!

Oh, and if you have a three bedroom in a decent neighborhood for a good price, go ahead and give us a call!


Lauren said...

Here's hoping that you three will find a better, big, and less noisy place soon! :)

Lisa and Matt said...

Uggh! Good luck with the house/apartment hunt!

Thanks for putting up pics! Hope the colors for the shirt look okay. It was hard to tell while ordering. :)

David Serchuk said...

OMG, that bottom picture is so crazy. She looks so grown up in that. Crazy.


Anne Stesney said...

I am floored. FLOORED by what happened at that open house. Unbelievable. Even if it were a seller's market, that's unacceptable.

You guys are in a great position, though. Try looking over in Prospect Heights! We have some great parents over here and can use some more. :)

Anne Stesney said...

Also, Stella is such a cutie choochie! Love the pics.

rachel leah said...

When Seth and I were looking for a bigger place before Gideon was born, we got the sense that a lot of people did not get the memo that real estate had changed. Luckily, we worked with an agent that we knew and trusted, but when she took us to see listings that she (admittedly) was unfamiliar with, there were a lot of honesty issues. We saw a so-called three bedroom where one room was clearly the attic and was much smaller than advertised and the ceilings were about 5ft. Good luck!

Holly said...

Good luck, Brooklyn Baby Family! I can totally relate to you on that feeling of when it is time to leave your current abode because of assorted craziness. I know you'll be able to find something much better. Keep the faith and keep looking!

Mama Laura said...

As an agent who has had the pleasure of working with lots of forclosures, I get what you're saying! I hope your hunt goes smother than the last and current trip. Do you have online acess to listings, or have you considered shopping for a realtor? It costs you nothing on the buying side, it's paid by the listing side (unless NY is different than the rest of the country) and then they hunt for you and open the listings and stuff.....just food for thoguht!

Kellygirlnyc said...

Happy Happy Birthday to Miss Stella! Ugh. Glad to hear her levels are great, sorry to hear you have to move again, but I have my fingers crossed that you'll find an awesome place that you guys like that's reasonable. :)

alexlady said...

i am over people blasting loud music.