Tuesday, November 25, 2008

On Being an Adult

Momma Bear and Baby Bear

On Being an Adult:

You discover the chipping paint in your apartment contains lead.

You cry for about a day, mop everything multiple times, wash your baby's toys, and try not to imagine lead dust coating every inch of everything she's continually putting in her mouth.

You and your spouse spend most free moments on the phone with apartment managers, doctors, lawyers, health department employees to see how to resolve this.

But life doesn't stop during this.

You discover that many members of your family are having major health concerns.

You, yourself, are really behind in doctor's appointments but not sure how to make them with a baby in tow.

Your baby looks funny but you always worry that she looks funny so you tell yourself it's her vaccinations from last week just screwing with her.

She stops napping, so you have to scramble to find a way to do normal and necessary household chores (and cease showering and eating regular meals for a few days).

She also stops sleeping, so you spend most nights nursing and rocking and passing out for 10 minute stretches before doing it all over again.

You speak to a doctor and realize she probably has an ear infection. Diagnosed 3 days before a plane trip. You hope when you take her later today they can give her some helpful medicine. You try not to curse yourself too much for ignoring the symptoms.

The car needs to be moved for alternate side of the street parking but it's during your doctor appointment today so you'll just have to pay for a ticket. Even though finances are REALLY tight right now.

You have to finish buying and prepping all the food so you can make a small (but delicious) Thanksgiving feast on Thursday. You also have to find time to pack for your trip to Las Vegas to visit your dad, brothers, and niece. You have no idea how this will happen unless Stella is able to sleep tonight.

You've got to stop blogging while Stella plays in her exersaucer, but you feel disconnected from the world and want to put off getting her ready to go out in the rain.

You actually understand those commercials where aching people reach longingly for their Advil.

But then...

Then you realize that your daughter is saying "momma," and you never knew any word could sound so incredibly beautiful and make your heart do somersaults!

You are excited about going to Las Vegas and showing Stella even more family who adore her.

You are so lucky to be able to afford a delicious Thanksgiving meal and to have a roof over your head (even if it has some lead paint underneath that roof).

You have so much to be thankful for, and you have to realize that being an adult means constantly juggling responsibilities and concerns while also following your new mantra:

Be Grateful, Be Present.

In fact, maybe you should write that on a piece of paper and hang it in every room. Or tattoo it on your arm like the guy in Memento.


Martin said...

You are just great. Good on you, Baby Momma! Good luck with all your travels.

alexlady said...

LOVE YOU honey. thanks for always being there for me, even through your own hectic life!!


Anne Stesney said...

I can totally relate. I had no idea that my brain would be on ALL THE TIME when I became a mom.

We used to call Walt's Exersaucer "The Ring Of Neglect."

Hope Stella's feeling better. And you too!